Nowadays one of the most difficult things is to deal  with frustration and try to understand what it means. However to understand what frustration really is, I need to looking for its mechanisms. I tried and I summarized it in a very synthetic to myself.  It is very hard to deal with all feelings that frustration brings out, at the same time I realized how important frustration is just because it is a structural dimension which makes me a human being.

It is common knowledge that frustration begins at the first contact with displeasure whatever it may be… And since I was a child in a world which I did not understand  and I did not know what was happening around me, so I believe fear and frustration were an intense present feelings. Today, I know that the human development is neuro-psycho-motor and it is not possible to skip phases or “jump the blocks” as in some games, otherwise I will have to return and retrace the path… Suddenly, I realized the fact that there are beauty and harmony in all this slow development process which is imposed by my biological dimension, my body, the material with I am building myself into existence.

The material dimension imposes me its own rhythm and in certain way it determines my learning, even if I do not recognize its inherent wisdom… I realize how important is the child´s learning process whose strives to overcome its limits and learns from the infinite repetition from falling  and rising. In this process the brain grows and the prefrontal cortex lets us to deal with the feelings of anger and frustration, it direct all the resulting energy to the focus of overcome the obstacle. Finally  when the child can walk the victory is absolute and this moment is memorized with the special pleasure of overcoming the own limits. That is the basis to form a consistent and real self-esteem. To all of us it is the same consistent emotional and psychic process of learning as a human beings. So there is no use trying to fool in this game, it will be probably harmful and it will hamper my own growing process.

In this sense, the foundation for a real self-esteem is coping with frustration. When I can cope with frustration, I grow and I become psychical and emotionally stronger, a mature human being. The Real Self-Esteem is the one which empowers me to accept my internal disagreements and it enable me to recognize and to embrace my imperfections and doing so I am ready to respect and care of myself and, certainly, the other.

In fact, I am surprised to realize that develop Frustration Resistance is the greatest emotional and psychological tool that I have to become a real human being. Coping with frustration is the basis for self-respect and self-acceptance and of course, the acceptance and respect for the other. If I respect my own internal disagreements and imperfections I will welcome the other´s imperfections. Also Frustration Resistance is the basis for compassion which is a natural consequence of I truly am acceptance. The compassion is a gentle and generous way of love.