Accepting forgiveness as a process presents several difficulties, the first of which is understanding the process as a spiral which leads to different steps and levels.

This process is a constant challenge, which can be compared to some video games where there are many tasks which need to be fulfilled in order to make it to the next levels.

Following this example, the first task is to identify the various feelings involved in order to overcome the first challenge: accepting the ANGER. At this stage, as well as in the games, it is necessary to use a tool or support element to help complete the task. The element here is HONESTY, that is, self-honesty–the type of honesty that can help me to face inner truths that only I know, the one that allows me to face my imperfections and say it’s okay. I do not need to be perfect to accept and respect myself; what I really need is compassion with myself.

However, how complex is this first step! How many times around the spiral are needed to face my anger? Yes, the anger exists and it is strong, but what I realized is an enormous amount of guilt! I am guilty for being angry! Anger is such a misunderstood feeling. I am not speaking about a superficial angry reaction that I can feel when I stumble on a stone, but about the anger associated with the rage which can completely overtake me because I feel deeply attacked or harmed! That is the rage which I am afraid of because I am aware of its destructrive potential!

I was completely surprised when I allowed myself to remain face-to-face with my anger. Instead of finding Medusa and her snakes which would surely turn me into a stone, I discovered only a beautiful and delicate woman who introduced herself as my anger! She told me that I needed to recognize and accept its manifestation as a defense mechanism. So I realized in that moment that only by honestly accepting anger as my defense mechanism would I be prepared for my next challenge: facing and understanding my own resentment.